Adri and Cam have been on my mind lately and I wanted to share a little of how their story progressed. You will catch glimpses of them in the next books in the series but they deserved their very own epilogue. I hope you like it!
I also hope you enjoy the holidays with your loved ones. I am wishing you a time of peace, understanding, and happiness but mostly, love.
JL
Prologue
Christmas Eve, Present
Adrianna
I love my old evergreen Christmas tree. It’s plastic, brittle to the touch, and was already too old
when I got it at the Goodwill. It was my first one, though. I got it the year my daughter was born. My heart fills with joy remembering how her seven-month-old eyes reflected the light and her little grabby hands reaching for the ornaments. This tree is nothing like the very real Balsam Fir in our family room, which Bron, Cam and I chose as a family. It’s beautiful and rich and fragrant in ways my artificial five-footer can never be.
But…this fake tree is special. It carries eleven years of very real memories. Some tough, some happy, and lots of my little girl’s laughter. Some of Bron’s baby ornaments, the ones she didn’t choose for the family tree, now hang on this one. The ornament with her face as a baby that my mom gave me is also on it. Next to it is the ornament I had made with my soon-to-be-born son’s 3-D sonogram photo.
I can’t help how drawn to both my fingers are, how happy it makes me, how big my smile is. My heart broke at the idea of donating it or letting it collect dust or keep it hidden in some plastic bin. It had served us well for so many years. It’s also a part of our history.
Cam brought it up and put it together while I was showering. I walked in the room to find him sitting in front of it. And yes, I cried. Many a night, I had wished for him while staring at this tree. That he would someday come back and meet his daughter. That he’d get to experience her joy decorating a tree. I never dared wish that he would become my husband or that we would love each other in the same intense way we did all those years ago. I never dared hope for the mistletoe on the canopy of our bed, or the way he devours me in bed, every night, even though I can’t see my privates because my belly gets in the way.
Yet, it happened. We’re happy. And there is abundant love and never a dull moment.
Hands to Myself
May
Adrianna
“How many times are we going to get the same thing wrong?” My voice rises, echoing off the kitchen walls, the hanging pots, freezing the other five people in place while plates rattle in their hands.
Shit, Adrianna. You really screwed it up. I didn’t meant to scream that. I didn’t even mean to address it right now. But here we are, my employees staring at me as if fresh arugula had sprouted from my nose and my face is on fire. I never yell, never lose my cool with them. Not even when something’s burning and we have a full house.
“I’m sorry guys. I didn’t mean to snap. I know the former mayor is a difficult customer, but she is a regular, and we know how she likes her pear gorgonzola salad. Let’s just strive to give her the same amount of cheese so she can stop calling me to complain.”
The staff nods and I feel like a piece of sponge cake that fell on the floor and got stepped on by everyone. I hate reprimanding my workers, hate the droop in the servers’ shoulders, and the silence that follows my outburst. They’re so good and unfortunately caught in the cross fire that is my current reality. My chest tightens and I pivot on my heel, managing to barely escape crashing into my best friend. Today’s t-shirt reads sometimes sweet, mostly savage. It fits Lauren to a…well, tee. I side-step her and keep walking but Lo follows me up the stairs and into the office.
“What’s going on with you?”
I smooth the tendrils that escaped my chignon. “Sorry, I have a lot on my plate.”
“No shit. I heard you yelling all the way at the bar.”
“Don’t make me feel worse.”
Lauren plops on the chair on the other side of my desk. “Talk to me. What has you this keyed-up?”
“Oh, I don’t know…could it be this woman calling me three times to bitch about the amount of gorgonzola on her salad, while I’m managing a larger staff, and a bigger clientele since everyone is trying to catch a glimpse of Cam in here? Or could it be the constant media presence, the phone calls, the email requests for interviews, all while having extra adults staying with me in a cramped apartment?”
“Adri—”
I point a finger at her. “Or maybe it’s my daughter’s idea to have the perfect end-of-the-school year backyard party at a new house we have not moved into because her father is intent on perfecting a house that was already in amazing condition. Who needs a laundry room on every floor? It’s like an embarrassment of riches.”
“You need to breathe, Adrianna.”
“And don’t get me started on the pressure his mother is putting on him since his dad went to jail. She calls him all the time and it always makes him feel like shit. He tries not to show it because he thinks it’s unfair to me, but it’s there, stressing him out.”
Ugh. I plop into my chair.
I shouldn’t complaint. I’ve never been happier. Cam and I are reunited for good. Our daughter has both her parents and she adores her daddy and God knows how much I adore him.
Yeah, his father went to jail, his mother is a royal—throbbing, screaming, constant— pain in the ass, and all the publicity surrounding the whole mess doesn’t help, but things are good. I just wish I could have Cam to myself for an hour. Hell, I wish I could have five minutes of peace and quiet for myself too.
“Lo, it’s just too many things to handle. I can’t even change my NuvaRing in a comfortable way because Bron barged in the bedroom just as I lay down. Cam and I haven’t been alone in a week. I only get two minutes to breathe in peace here in this office because everywhere else, including through the bathroom door, someone wants to talk.”
Lauren shrugs. “Oh. I see. Now that you got so used to your nightly nookie you can’t even go for a week without?”
I grab the pillow from my chair and send it flying her toward her. She catches it midair and smirks.
“It’s not just the sex. I miss him holding me and kissing me all night—”
“With his penis?”
“Shut up.”
But Lauren is partly right. Cam has been loving and affectionate but not intimate. I want so much more. After ten years of not having him with me, I can’t get enough. But his siblings are here and so is my mom. And they’re all staying with us. On top of all the other mess.”
Not to mention his stupid idea to wait until we’re in the new house, in our new bedroom, so it could be like the first time.
“Why don’t you just lock yourself in a room and get naked. That’s always worked for the two of you.”
I laugh because it’s true. It worked when we were teens. All I had to do was pull the shirt over my head or lift my skirt and conversations would cease…for a while. That’s how we got Bron.
“I think he’s trying to distract himself from the issues with his parents by focusing on the new house. I’m trying to be respectful of this stressful time. You know? Reporters are trying to get an interview with him and his mother is constantly freaking out, even though she basks on being on the cover of newspapers.”
“Yes, I saw her. That Diane Von Furstenberg bag she had on Inside Edition was everything good in life, but the woman is so evil and manipulative, I can’t believe a house hasn’t fallen on her.”
“Cam and I think she got the money for the bag by manipulating Chase.”
“She did,” Lauren’s lip curls. “She did a number on him. Adri, just talk to Cam. Better yet, don’t talk and take the bull by the…”
“Don’t you have anything better to do?”
She springs from her chair. “I have to go. I have a meeting with a supplier. Hey, I can pick up Bron from school today and take her and your mom for ice cream. You know, so you can go ride the bull.”
I’m about to throw a pen at her but maybe that’s a good idea. Even if Cam and I just go for a walk around the Canton Harbor, it will be time for just the two of us. “I’ll ask Cam if he has anything planned and text you.”
I open my phone to a text from Cam.
Can you come upstairs?
Upstairs? Oh yeah. I can definitely come upstairs.
I almost hate myself for the hopeful little skip in my heartbeat—I’m way too thirsty— but follow the rush upstairs. No one’s in the living room or the kitchen. My hope soars all the way to the bedroom.
“Cam?” I call out, entering our bedroom and bumping right into his chest. His warm and hard chest.
“I’m sorry. Hello.” He presses his hand to my back and his mouth to mine. His naked torso rubs against my arm for brief but incendiary moment. Then, he pulls back and, to my horror, shrugs a shirt on.
Shit, no. Don’t get dressed.
“Um.” I try not to ogle his bare stomach. I fail. The man is all hard muscle. Everywhere. “Did you have any plans with Bron today? Lauren asked if she can pick her up from school and take her for ice cream.”
“That’s a great idea. It frees us up to do something we’ve needed to do for a while now,” he says with a quick smile before strolling back inside the bedroom.
My stomach somersaults and dives off the deep end. Yes, yes, yes. “What are we going to do?”
Damn, it’s a shame how desperate I sound. I don’t care though.
“We have to pick finishes for the house,” he announces like it’s the greatest thing.
The bubble of hope bursts all over my face and I have to press my lips together not to sigh out loud. My hands flutter, looking around not knowing what to say. Come up with something, damn it.
“Oh great,” I manage, sounding faker than a five dollar wig.
“Unless you would rather not,” he says with narrowed eyes. “I figured you would want this out of the way, so they can install these damned things and we can move in.”
And when we move in, we’ll get some privacy.
“Yeah, let’s do that. I want to see the progress.” I walk back into the living room, dial Lauren and tell her to go ahead with her plans with Bron.
Cam is standing behind me when I turn around. He touches my cheek. “You ok?”
His touch, so warm I lean into it, causes the butterflies to flutter against the wall of my belly. I move closer to him, intent on asking him to use those hot fingers all over my body, to squeeze my tits, my ass, go inside my…
“Look Adri, Luciana did a facial for me. My skin feels so good and fresh.”
My mom saunters out of Bron’s room with Cam’s sister behind her.
I jump away from Cam and go examine her skin. “It looks great mom. I can definitely see a difference. Well, I need to finish tidying up my office. Let me know when you’re ready.”
Jesus, what was wrong with me. I ran out of there like they caught me with my hand down his pants. Where I wish it was.
It’s like mere seconds have passed when Cam is knocking on my office door.
“Oh. Already?”
Cam frowns. “It’s been an hour.”
Had it really been that long? I shoot to my feet and close my computer screen. He doesn’t need to know I’ve been playing blitz this whole time. I grab my purse and we head out.
Two hours later, I’m ready to follow Lauren’s advice. If Cam only knew how mouthwatering he looks, how sexy his lips are when set in a thinking pout. He wouldn’t wear that fitted sky blue Henley that spotlight the muscles in his arms. He also wouldn’t run his big, manly, hands ever so softly over the squared piece of quartz he’s showing me. Under the ministrations of his hand, the sparkles within the stone wink, tease, and laugh at me.
“I personally love this quartz for the countertops. It has a hard and durable and sleek but the quality is beautiful and smooth. It’s also velvety to the touch, don’t you think?”
He should also watch what he says.
Everything he touches and says comes off so provocative and I feel dirty because that’s where my mind is. Deep down in the gutter where I wish he could come down and roll in the filth with me.
“Adri?”
I blink a few times at his puzzled faced. What did he just asked me? Oh yeah, the quartz. “I… I…really love that one. Would it be only for the kitchen?” That’s good. Stay with it.
“Well if you love it, we can also put it in the master bathroom counters. I think it would go well with the floors,” he offered.
Great, now my mind is stuck on the master bathroom counter. We already picked a design for it. It’s long, stretching along a full mirrored wall. There are two sinks, but on either side of them there is a massive amount of space. I told him that’s where I would send him to sleep when he pisses me off. Now I could picture him pushing me against it or bending me over it, or squatting in front of me while I’m sitting on it.
“Are you sure you’re ok?” he asks again.
“Yeah, totally.”
The concern on his voice packs on like seven pounds of guilt on my shoulders. He’s worried about me and I just want to yank the clothes off his body.
He walks around the utility table. “You looked flushed. Are you coming down with something?”
Yeah, the hornies.
“No,” I assure him. “Show me the progress in the rest of the house.”
I take a step back from him and walk in the other direction. He follows close on my heels. Unfortunately, I walk straight into the master bedroom. Jesus, pay attention Adrianna.
“Adri, I know I’ve been distracted and we have been busy lately, but if something’s bothering you, you can tell me.”
He’s way too close. All I can do is laugh it off and go stand by the big bay window looking over Pinebrook Lake. The previous owners created a reading nook by building a window seat into it. “I’m ok, Cam. Don’t worry about me. Tell me more about the house renovations. Will they finish by the weekend? Bron’s heart is set on this backyard party.”
“Adri, you’ve been a little weird all day. What do I need to apologize for?” His voice was soft but heavy with undertones of contrition.
“I’m really ok. I promise.” He raises an eyebrow and I sigh knowing he’s not going to drop it. “I’m just a little keyed up. That’s all.”
He comes to stand closer to me, concern etched in his face. “What has you so keyed up?”
I tilt my head back against the window, close my eyes and let it rip. “The media, the renovations, all the laundry rooms, the backyard party, our family, and you.”
“Oh.” His tone goes flat. “I’m sorry. I know dealing with my family baggage…”
I spring to my feet and close the distance between us. “No, I’m not keyed up about you because of the family drama. I’m going crazy trying to keep my hands off you.”
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